81

“I used to watch shows with really empowered women who had special powers, and now I’m on one. That stuff marks you, for sure.”

Why we love Janina Gavankar

Janina Gavankar has done a lot of stuff. Like, bundles. She’s acted in a huge number of TV shows. She’s a musician, having “re-imagined” Kayne West’s Love Lockdown and trained as a pianist, vocalist, and orchestral percussionist. Last, and definitely not least, she was a Microsoft search engine for a while. That’s not bad going.

You might have seen Janina Gavankar play promiscuous lady-botherer Papi on The L Word, or the shapeshifting public school teacher Luna on vampire suck-fest True Blood – that’s what she’s most famous for, anyway. She’s also cropped up in Stargate: Atlantis (as Sgt. “Dusty” Mehra, which is a rubbish nickname to have), NCIS, Grey’s Anatomy and on something called Epileptic Gaming, which sounds like a dangerous and short-lived premise for a show.

When we said Janina Gavankar was a search engine, that wasn’t strictly true – Janina Gavankar didn’t sit at home waiting for people to ask how to find something online, and then go and find it for them – but instead she acted as Ms Dewey, a virtual assistant and dogsbody along the lines of Subservient Chicken or, more recently, Lucy Pinder’s collaboration with Lynx (which has now been removed from their site following a storm of controversy). If you typed in a suggestion, the website would play one of three hundred pre-recorded videos that best matched your query, and deliver search results too – one of the films involves her shooting a crew member in the chest by accident, so, you know, all fun and games.

82

“I remember watching Play School as a child and thinking, ‘That looks like a fun job.’”

Why we love Alex Jones

It’s often all too easy to overlook Wales when you’re thinking about the United Kingdom, but they’re pretty neat. Quite aside from all that rugby, singing, and lovely hills etc. they occasionally produce top-notch TV presenters like Alex Jones.

Alex Jones has been on TV for a while. She appeared on the incredibly ’90s gameshow Prickly Heat waaaay back in 1998 – Prickly Heat, for those of you who aren’t aware, was a Sky One lewd-’em-up which featured a bikini-clad Davina McCall presenting the sort of beach-based sexy fun games that wouldn’t be out of place in a Carry On film – and had to sit her uni exams in Magaluf on account of filming taking place over there. That’s the least exciting thing a young lady can do in Magaluf, we reckon.

Although you’ll probably know her for presenting The One Show – reprising the role of Pretty Tanned Lady from A Country Other Than England from Christine Bleakley – she also does a load of Welsh-language TV shows on S4C, like travel programme Toycn and Chwa, a show about extreme sports with an fairly unextreme name. Maybe it translates to HyperDeath MurderBoard Pro in English. As you might have guessed, our Welsh isn’t as good as it could be.

Should you require proof of Alex’s linguistic skills (after all, being able to speak multiple languages is officially HOT) here’s a video of her speaking a whole bunch of Welsh into a camera on the Chwa website. Wish we could do that. Closest we can get is saying ‘Two beers, please, and my friend will pay’ in a loose handful of European languages.

83

“If you’re asking if my breasts are natural, yes, this is how I’ve looked since I was 13 years old.”

Why we love Sofia Vergara

As childhood nicknames go, Vergara’s “Toti” is pretty appropriate. As the queen of Hollywood’s Latino actresses, Vergara has appeared in number of roles to make otherwise dull productions just a tiny bit sexier, such as Dirty Sexy Money, Soul Plane and the unforgettable Men In Trees.

One of the hottest single mothers on the planet, she’s also known to bring her teenage son, Manolo, along to film premieres and other functions. That’s right, she’s had a kid, and she still looks this good. Besides modelling work, she’s also trained to be a dentist in her time, before realising the male population of the planet desperately required her on screen, barely clothed, as much was physically possible.

84

“There’s only one cool maths job around and I was lucky enough to get it so I’m absolutely thrilled.”

Why we love Rachel Riley

After 26 years on Countdown, we’d completely exhausted any erotic potential that Carol Vorderman might have once had. So it was with a testicular sigh of relief that we saw Channel 4 trade Carol in for a much younger model – Rachel Riley. Essex-raised and Oxford-educated, the 23-year-old beat off 1,000 other applicants despite having no TV experience. If any FHM readers are a bit slow on the uptake, she’s the one on the show who isn’t Jeff Stelling.

Rachel Riley took over in what is known as the 60th series of the show, but is only on our telly screens because her mum told her to audition. Well done that lady. Rachel Riley admits it was tough to deal with comments levelled at her before she even started the show. “That hurt” she says. This makes us angry, so we’ve gone all Spooks and have bugged everywhere to find those responsible for such jibes. You have been warned.

Rachel Riley has a sharp sense of humour too, once revealing a Countdown conundrum by saying it described Jeff (it said OBESEJERK, feel free to work out what it was an anagram of). And it gets better: she’s in to football. She openly admits to being a big Manchester United fan, so big in fact that she even presented an MUTV show where she was taken round their Carrington training ground. Of course, unless you’re Clarke Carlisle you probably don’t find time to watch Countdown as a Manchester United footballer, you’re too busy holidaying in Dubai or sleeping with escorts.

85

“I’m only a criminal when I’m breaking hearts.”

Why we love Alexandra Stan

We’re not entirely sure who Mr. Saxobeat is but Alexandra Stan sure likes him and whatever she likes we like. Hell, we’d happily change our name to Mr. Saxobeat for a bit of down time with this gorgeous leggy Romanian.

Unlike her rather frightening looking ‘musical’ predecessors The Cheeky Girls, Alexandra Stan is extremely hot, she’s talented and she has so far displayed no penchant for wonky-faced Lib Dem politicians.

When she’s not cracking out massive party anthems Miss Alexandra Stan is studying International relations with Romanian law and looking utterly fantastic in leather.

86

“I like an action man. Seeing a man do a job like changing a tyre is hot.”

Why we love Jorgie Porter

Jorgie Porter, another beautiful member of the Hollyoaks clan, is so perfect we were going to make a million profiles for her but that’d get confusing for you, right? Thankfully, we’ve only made one and here it is.

Known for her role as sexy sixth-former Theresa McQueen, Porter recently admitted that if her acting career went to pot she wouldn’t hesitate in joining the army. Yes, the army! We predict recruitment rates amongst young males would skyrocket if this happened, so maybe it’s just the thing to bolster our military might.

January 2012: Jorgie danced – appropriately enough – on ice, as part of ITV’s chilly Strictly-rip off Dancing on Ice alongside Jennifer Ellison and Heidi Range. Porter took to the ice like a Russian hockey player. Her and partner Matt Evers have a growing reputation for their daring routines, and Porter is keen to nail fabled ice-skating trick, The Headbanger. It’s hard.

She also recreated Britney’s famous routine for Hit me Baby, One More Time, but on ice, obviously. She was in a school girl outfit, skating around in a very accomplished fashion. It was impressive and confusing all at the same time. Like a half remembered dream on the way to work.

• External Links:
• Jorgie Porter on Facebook |
• Jorgie Porter on IMDB

87

Laura Whitmore — Pick Me!

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“I don’t like men who try too hard. If a guy looks in the mirror more than I do it’s a bad sign. I like scruffy, but not smelly.”

Full name: Laura Whitmore
DOB: May 4, 1985
Place of birth: Bray, County Wicklow, Ireland
Occupation: Television presenter

Laura Whitmore facts

• Laura fended off 3,000 other applicants on Pick Me MTV to win a highly coveted MTV presenter job.
• The Irish blonde cites Jonathan Ross and slightly scary Big Brother presenter Davina McCall as her role models.
• Laura didn’t get her MTV News job on looks alone – she has a journalism degree from Dublin City University.
• She’s also hosted the Teenage Cancer Trust concerts on ITV2.
• Laura was on the cover of FHM in September, 2011.

19 photos of Laura Whitmore

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Why we love Laura Whitmore

Cat Deeley. Emma Griffiths. Kelly Brook, Donna Air. What do all these gorgeous British ladies have in common? They all got their showbiz break on MTV, and Irish beauty Laura Whitmore is all set to join their ranks. Earlier this year, the channel responded positively to a homemade newsreel she sent in, and the Holly Willoughby-alike has been informing us of all the pressing issues in the world of music ever since. In a recent interview with FHM, Laura revealed she isn’t a fan of threesomes (boo) and that her preferred method of shuffling off this mortal coil is to be eaten by a shark in her sleep. Each to their own, eh?

88

Nicki Minaj — Alter Ego

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“I don’t date women and I don’t have sex with women. But I don’t date men either.”

Full name: Onika Tanya Maraj
DOB: December 8, 1984
Place of birth: Saint James, Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago
Occupation: Singer-songwriter

Nicki Minaj facts

• Nicki’s parents have given her Afro-Trinidadian and Indian genes.
• She lost her voice on the day of a singing audition and had to do a drama program instead. Which probably gave her the opportunity to be even more weird.
• She released three mixed tapes before setting off a bidding war between major record labels to secure her in 2009.
• Her alter ego Roman collaborates with Eminem’s alter ego Slim Shady on her song ‘Roman’s Revenge’.

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Why we love Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj is a bit mental. Let us explain: The thing is, Nicki Minaj isn’t actually real. No, Nicki Minaj is the alter-ego of Onika Maraj, not just a stage name, and there are loads of other alter-ego’s too that make up the songs of Onika, better known as Nicki Minaj. Geddit? No? Neither do we really, so we’ll just call her Nicki…Minaj.

Basically, Nicki Minaj…shit! Anyway she was born and raised in Trinidad and Tobago until she was five, but she was living with her grandmother while her parents tried to find a place in New York City, with her mum coming to visit sometimes until one day she picked her up and moved her to Queens. The problem was, her parents had a very violent relationship, so bad that her dad once tried to burn the house down to kill her mum. So, to deal with the heavy shit, Nicki created characters and lived her life through them instead. Now you see where we’re going…

Nicki Minaj is the third alter-ego she created, and then for her debut album she came up with another one called Roman Zolanski – who she calls her twin brother. Then she added another character; Roman’s mother Martha Zolanski, who has a British accent. And not a good one from what we’ve heard. Talking about her debut album Pink Friday she said listeners would be introduced to Nicki, Roman and Onika – with Onika being who she really is, and Nicki just who most people know so far. We think. See? Mental.

89

Christina Hendricks — Mad woman

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“I didn’t pay for it to happen. I didn’t get a boob job. It’s who I am.”

Full name: Christina Rene Hendricks
DOB: May 3, 1975
Place of birth: Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
Occupation:Actress

Her History in FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women

2011 #82 | 2010 #78 | 2009 #77

Christina Hendricks facts

• She’s American, and has appeared in many of America’s key TV programmes: ER, Without A Trace and Cold Case.
• Married to actor Geoffrey Arend. Nope, us neither.
• She is a natural blonde, but has dyed her hair since she was 10 years old.
• Oh, her measurements? Can’t see why you want to know that…but anyway: 36-32-36. We think. We did research.

18 photos of Christina Hendricks

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Why we love Christina Hendricks

Christina Hendricks is so bloody lovely and every single photo of her so captivating that there isn’t really much point in writing the rest of her profile because you’re too busy ogling her already. Christina Hendricks plays Joan Holloway in the smash drama Mad Men. The show is set in New York back in the 1960’s so it’s packed to the brim with timeless style and push up bras. The show itself is set around the day-to-day office life of one of America’s most prestigious ad agencies whilst illustrating the clash of 1950’s morals against the uprising of sexual revolution in the early 1960’s.

Now you may only watch Mad Men just to check out Joan Holloway, so if that’s the case then also look up some of Christina Hendricks’ previous roles such as ‘Saffron’ in the underrated Sci-Fi show Firefly or Esther ‘Legs’ Davis in Cold Case.

Ginger haired people often get a lot of bad press; like Nicola Roberts. See, you probably don’t know who she is but you’ll certainly know her as ‘the ginger one from Girls Aloud’. However, Christina Hendricks firmly kicks the trash talk to the curb with her trademark red hair, voluptuous figure and defining acting prowess.

The only problem with being hot and a good actress is that she doesn’t need to undress in front of the camera to get the role. Sad face. Saying that, the whole Hendricks package is so out of control, it’s more than enough to keep us satisfied for the time being. Just check out her role in the excellent and equally sexy Drive

• External Links:
• Christina Hendricks at Fame Steps |
• Christina Hendricks at Famous Why

90

Jenna Randall — Goggle Girl

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“Some pools can feel quite thick and others quite thin. I don’t know how, but you do get a different feel.”

Full name: Jenna Randall
DOB: 20 September 1988
Place of birth: Ascot, Berkshire, England
Occupation: Synchronised Swimmer

Jenna Randall facts

• Jenna is a synchronised swimmer, and has three Silver medals on her mantelpiece that she’s won at the last two Commonwealth Games.
• In an interview with The Guardian, she recommended eating crumpets for breakfast as they’re not actually all that bad for you, although you should steer clear of butter apparently.
• Jenna trains for ten hours a day, six days a week. That’s bloody LOADS.

Why we love Jenna Randall

Unlike most women, Jenna Randall is a world-class Synchronised Swimmer. First competing in the 2006 Commonwealth Games at the age of 17, where she took silver in the women’s solo event, she entered again in 2010 and won a medal in the women’s duet too. Basically, she’s really bloody good at swimming in awkward directions. She’s probably not as good at swimming as, say, a penguin – those little guys are outstanding – but as far as humans go, she’s great.

Solo swimming, by the way, is basically synchronised swimming but on your own. We thought that’d be easy, surely – we’re always in perfect synchronisation with ourselves – but it turns out it’s actually the equivalent of a gymnastics floor show but underwater. And that stuff looks difficult enough without being all wet. Hats off to her.

Jenna had two nicknames, growing up – Wedge, and The Tantrum. The Tantrum is pretty self-explanatory – she had a big tantrum once, and the name stuck, but Wedge isn’t a reference to her love for supporting characters in the original Star Wars trilogy. It’s actually a nod to the way that her swimsuit would ride up in practice. So, you know, that’s nice and everything.

Much to everyone’s delight, Jenna appeared in a range of sexy pants that some might call over-elaborate for a calendar to promote the the GB 2012 Olympic games. If you’re interested in seeing Jenna, and her Team GB friends, in elaborate pants – and then for those images to be displayed on your wall for a few months, and to give some money to charity – then you can purchase said calendar here.

FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women In The World 2012 （81～90） was originally published on DormanThink