21
Laura Haddock — Pretty posho
“The men that I liked growing up were definitely not the clever ones or the popular ones. They were the intelligent, quirky ones”
Full name: Laura Jane Haddock
DOB: June 12, 1985
Place of birth: Harpenden, Hertfordshire
Occupation: Actress
LAURA HADDOCK FACTS
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Laura Haddock stars in The Inbetweeners Movie as Will’s love interest Alison.
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She starred in BB3’s How Not To Live Your Life as sexy student Samantha Parker.
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Sadly, she’s dating actor Sam Claflin.
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Her unusual surname earned her the nickname “Fishface” as school. She must have felt out of plaice eh?
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She has a cameo in Captain America.
11 PHOTOS OF LAURA HADDOCK
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WHY WE LOVE LAURA HADDOCK
As keen eyed FHM fans will recall, we featured Laura Jane Haddock in FHM way back in April 2008, along with some splendid pictures of her reclining in her bra and underwear.
Back then she’d already drummed up a loyal (and probably weird) fan base as aspiring model Kacie on ITV1’s Honest. Why weird? Well, it seems when you type Laura’s name in Google her feet are one of the top search terms. We weren’t searching for pics of her feet, so it must have been you.
Anyway, we won’t lie, we can’t remember much about Honest, except that there were a few sex scenes, which Laura desperately tried to hide from her parents. “I had to blindfold them while it was on.”
Laura Haddock then went on to star alongside David Jason and Christopher Lee in Sky One’s adaptation of Terry Pratchett’s The Colour Of Magic. And considering she’s used to pitching up alongside Britain’s comedy elite, it made sense to see her flanking The Inbetweeners boys on their epic lads’ holiday this summer.
She played Alison, the leader of the girl group the lads latch on to in Malia
Now here’s the bad news, as with most attractive, funny and famous women, Laura Haddock is already taken. Actor Sam Claflin, who you might recognise from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is the man in question. He and Laura are both keen Twitter-ers, so maybe make some fake Twitter accounts and offer him big role. Like a spaceman. But he needs to research it… on the moon. Sounds like a plan yeah? YEAH?
- External Links:
- Laura Haddock IMDB |
- Laura Haddock Twitter |
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22
Berenice Marlohe — La Magnifique
“I’ve been training a bit to fire guns… I enjoyed it very much.”
Full name: Bérénice Marlohe
DOB: May 19, 1979
Place of birth: France
Occupation: Actress, Model
BERENICE MARLOHE FACTS
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Berenice is a French TV actress who got her big break landing a role in Skyfall, the latest Bond movie.
Her favourite Bond actress is Famke Jannsen, who played the hi-lariously named Xenia Onatopp in Goldeneye.
She’s a fan of guys with a sense of humour. So, you know, crack out the joke book if you ever meet her.
WHY WE LOVE BERENICE MARLOHE
Hailing from the mysterious land of mystery known to us as France, and to its inhabitants as La France, Bérénice Marlohe is an enigma. A prevalent actress in her home country, dabbling in drama and comedy, she’s acted in eight TV series and four films. Unfortunately, they’re all in French, so we have no idea what they’re about.
For example, Berenice Marlohe played ‘Hostesse Golf’ in the TV movie La Pigeon. What are the motives of her character, aside from accurately and politely ensuring that all attendees to the course have an enjoyable round of golf? How was the pigeon involved in all this? What does it want? We just don’t know. We’ll probably never know.
We do know that Berenice Marlohe appeared wearing only a red wig (zut alors) in steamy French drama Equipe medicale d’urgance. Our French isn’t great – it’s très rubbish, as they’d say – but we’re pretty sure that equates to their version of Casualty.
Of course the only reason you’re hearing about the beautiful Berenice Marlohe now, is because of ladies man, espionage expert and dangerous sociopath James Bond. Bérénice is in Skyfall, 007’s latest outing, alongside Naomie Harris and the remarkably well-dressed Daniel Craig. She plays Sérévine, a character who is not only “glamourous and enigmatic”, according to Marlohe, but one who also shares the same number of acute accents in her name as the actress playing her. Only one question remains: Will she be the one he sleeps with who then dies? Or the other one, who doesn’t.
23
Kate Upton — Cowgirl beauty
“I like bikinis that are super sexy and lingerie-like… because I love lingerie”
Full name: Kate Upton
DOB: June 10, 1992
Place of birth: St Joseph, Michigan, United States
Occupation: Model
KATE UPTON FACTS
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She won the Rookie Of The Year title inSports Illustrated‘s 2011 Swimsuit Issue.
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Before moving into modeling, Kate was an avid horseback rider and won five world titles for being pretty damn good at it.
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Was scouted by modeling agencies when she was just 12 – but had to wait until she was old enough before signing a contract.
53 PHOTOS OF KATE UPTON
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WHY WE LOVE KATE UPTON
If we had to sum up Kate Upton in just one word, it’d probably just be “wow”. That’s right, “wow”. None of this “amazing”, or “awesome” malarkey, oh no. Just “wow”. Why? Because we’re constantly amazed by Miss Upton and pretty much everything about her.
Kate Upton’s got the lot, hasn’t she? As a general rule of thumb, you have to if you’re deemed hot enough to be able to count Guess, Beach Bunny swimwear and Victoria’s Secret among your employers. Not to mention Sports Illustrated, where she (rightly) took the Rookie Of The Year title in 2011.
Kate Upton’s glorious journey from child horse rider (as in, she was a child when she rode horses all the time – we didn’t mean child horses, we know that they’re called ponies, obviously) to ethereal modeling angel of our dreams began when she was just 12. She was scouted out by modeling agencies at a horse riding show, and told to get back in touch when she was old enough. Thankfully, she remembered to do so – and on attending an open casting call in 2008, Kate Upton was snapped up on the spot. Presumably to a contract that binds her to take off her clothes a lot in the future. God bless the legal system.
Kate Upton’s even proved how ridiculously cute she is on days off, when she showed us how to do ‘the Dougie’ dance during half-time of a LA Clippers basketball game. Suffice to say, that video that went viral on Twitter in 2011. So, you can add being a sports fan and a good dancer to Kate’s already undeniable sexy brilliance, then. Lovely.
24
Holly Willoughby — Ice Maiden
“I love boys, I love talking to boys, I love flirting with boys.”
Full name: Holly Marie Willoughby
DOB: February 10, 1981
Place of birth: Brighton, Sussex, England
Occupation: Television presenter
Her History in FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women
2011 #57 | 2010 #51 | 2009 #74 | 2008 #100 | 2007 #26 | 2006 #30 | 2005 #71
HOLLY WILLOUGHBY FACTS
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Holly is an acclaimed children’s TV presenter, even winning a Bafta for it in 2006. Who knew?
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She’s super best friends with fellow early-morning totty Fearne Cotton, whose job she nicked on the Xtra Factor. Awkward.
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She’s appeared in advertising campaigns for Rimmel and Pretty Polly, as well as posing in frillies for lingerie catalogues.
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Holly graced the cover of FHM in November 2008.
25 PHOTOS OF HOLLY WILLOUGHBY
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WHY WE LOVE HOLLY WILLOUGHBY
Lingerie model to children’s entertainer to national sex icon isn’t your average career path (well, certainly not here), but Holly Willoughby has done just that.
Early doors Holly Willoughby was modelling for teen magazines, before moving on to underwear. A spell at CITV and CBBC followed, before hosting CD:UK. But the big break came with Dancing on Ice, and then we were very pleased when she replaced Fern Britton on This Morning meaning the Willoughbooby was on our screens every weekday. She’s become something of an ITV stalwart, teaming up with bezzie mate Fearne Cotton on Keith Lemon’s Celebrity Juice. We say teaming up, they’re actually opposing captains on a show where Keith Lemon takes the piss and sides with Holly a lot. We would too. Unfortunately Lemon has to sometimes call Holly ‘Willoughbaby’ – yup, she’s married and now expecting her second child. Sad face.
Nevertheless, the former kids TV presenter has the sort of body and flirty character that make her an instant hit with the male of the species. She’s even showered in public, stripping down in Trafalgar Square for a water saving initiative. No wonder then, that Holly Willoughby has made it into our World’s Sexiest Women poll on three occasions. As if that weren’t enough, her breasts have a happy habit of popping out at odd moments. Her adventurous chest even got her into trouble at ITV after complaints were made for them being “too much on show” during Dancing On Ice. What’s wrong with people?
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25
Cher Lloyd — Miniature songstress
“I don’t do things by half-measure. It’s got to be perfect.”
Full name: Cher Lloyd
DOB: July 28, 1993
Place of birth:Malvern, Worchestershire, UK
Occupation: Singer, Songwriter
CHER LLOYD FACTS
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Cher’s most famous for appearing onThe X Factor, but she also appeared on the lawyer-baiting Text Factor, which is a sort of discount version of the proper show.
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She’s released such songs as Swagger Jagger, With Ur Love and Want U Back.Presumably the backs of her album covers must be so small she can’t use proper words.
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If you rearrange the letters of her name, you get “Old Cheryl.” Which is a shame, because “New Cheryl” would have been far more prophetic given her relationship and similarity to Georgie popstar Cheryl Cole.
WHY WE LOVE CHER LLOYD
Much like those little plastic barriers at the checkout in supermarkets, Cher Lloyd divides people. But not their shopping. She’s rubbish at that. Instead, she splits musical opinion, and never more so than with her 2011 debut single Swagger Jagger.
Swagger Jagger is a song so earwormy it counts as a class B drug, and you can get kicked out of nightclubs for trying to listen to it in the bathroom. It showcases Cher Lloyd’s talents – some rapping, some singing, some looking good on camera – admirably. Not everyone seemed to think so, though – despite earning more than twenty two million plays on Youtube, the song still has more Dislikes than Likes. We’ll let you form your own opinion.
Cher Lloyd is a product of The X Factor – although she didn’t win, because no-one really seemed to be voting for her, the judges saw some talent and kept her around as long as possible in the 2010 series. After she finished in fourth place she was soon signed by Syco Music to produce an album, and she did. That album is calledSticks+Stones, which is nice, and possibly a reference to the way she was bullied at school – due to her mum’s Romani ancestry, she’d often get called a “pikey”, which is hardly fair.
Whether you love her or hate her, Cher Lloyd seems to be sticking around like an unwrapped toffee in a particularly warm trouser pocket, and she’s here to stay. Our advice? Learn to like her, and she might become as easy on your ear, as she is on your eye.
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Michelle Keegan — Soap fox
“I was an ugly duckling. I knew it, and my family and friends told me too.”
Full name: Michelle Elizabeth Keegan
DOB: June 3, 1987
Place of birth: Stockport, Manchester, England
Occupation: Plays Tina McIntyre in Corrie
Her History in FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women
2011 #26 | 2010 #30
MICHELLE KEEGAN FACTS
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Michelle won ‘Sexiest Female’ at the British Soap Awards, 2007.
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She used to work in Selfridges. The one in Manchester, not London.
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Keegan’s been on the Radio 1 Chart Show with Reggie Yates.
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On the cover of January’s FHM.
43 PHOTOS OF MICHELLE KEEGAN
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WHY WE LOVE MICHELLE KEEGAN
Michelle Keegan’s the sort of girl that makes ‘TV on demand’ a very redundant phrase. Instead, with her debut acting role as Tina McIntyre in Coronation Street, she’s had many a grown man busting an arse and an elbow to be there, complete with cuppa and Chocolate HobNob, on the sofa, on time, without fail, every single episode.
Having nabbed ‘Best Newcomer’ at the 2008 British Soap Awards, the Manchester lass was officially hot property. She’s gone on to win ‘Sexiest Female’ at the British Soap Awards in both 2009 and 2010, along with the same award at the Inside Soap Awards. But (apparently) it’s not all about the fact that she’s extremely hot; she was also nominated for ‘Best Actress’ at this years BSA’s. So where next? And do they sell HobNobs there?
Hollyoaks was the first show that Keegan auditioned for, but she was turned down for a role – personally we think she would have fitted right in. Her second audition was forCoronation Street, where the producers obviously new talent when they saw it. Somewhere else you may have spotted Michelle Keegan pop up is in Red Dwarf: Back to Earth when she had a small cameo appearance. Before moving in to television Michelle used to work for an airline at Manchester Airport – you’d never tire of having her tell you your flight is delayed. She has also previously dated a model, actor and semi-pro footballer (yeah, all the same bloke) so you better work on your CV if you want a shot with Michelle.
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27
Lana Del Rey — Smooth Operator
“I didn’t sign up to be famous. I just wanted to sing.”
Full name: Elizabeth Grant
DOB: June 21, 1986
Place of birth: New York City, USA
Occupation: Singer
LANA DEL REY FACTS
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Video Games, one of her most popular tracks, has been covered by Bombay Bicycle Club and Kasabian..
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Lana Del Rey isn’t her real name – it’s a mix of old-school American Actress Lana Turner and old-school car the Ford Del Rey. Presumably Marilyn Punto was taken.
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Her songs have been on both Made In Chelsea and The Only Way Is Essex.
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She makes all her own videos. Pretty swish, no?
WHY WE LOVE LANA DEL REY
Lana Del Rey isn’t new to the music scene, as you might think – she’s been performing for bloody ages. Since 2007 in fact – although she was performing under the name Lizzy Grant, which is a bit less romantic, so we can see why things have started to take off for her.
Is it wrong to perform under an assumed identity? We don’t think so. It’s done Lady Gaga the power of good (also she released some pretty good music so, you know that too) and Madonna probably wouldn’t have done so well if she’d stuck with Louise Veronica Ciccone. Plus Lana Del Rey’s persona is pretty cool.
Languorous, laid-back and treacle-thick, her voice makes us marginally warmer just by listening to it like some kind of audio three-bar electric fire. She makes a lot of sad music, that’s true – her breakout hit Blue Jeans is the sort of song you’d find playing on the stereo on repeat when you come home to discover that your girlfriend’s left you – but there’s a lot of hope there, too. And a fair measure of badass.
Lana Del Rey makes the sort of music you could listen to whilst driving down one of those long American roads with one hand on the steering wheel and the other lazily draped out of the window holding the revolver you just used to shoot your daddy. Is that a genre of music? It should be.
Plus, all that, and – well – look at her. Top marks all round, we think.
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Katrina Bowden — Esquire’s Favourite
“I can’t resist a good piece of carrot cake, gummy dots, and gummy bears – they are all just too good.”
Full name: Katrina Bowden
DOB: September 19, 1988
Place of birth: Wyckoff, New Jersey, USA
Occupation: Actress
KATRINA BOWDEN FACTS
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Katrina plays Cerie on 30 Rock. She’s also had bit parts in Law and Order: SVU and Ugly Betty. She’s also appeared in a Fall Out Boy video, curiously enough.
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In September 2011, she became the face of Jordache – not the three-player tennis variant, though, she did the fashion company thing.
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In January 2012, she got engaged to her boyfriend Ben Jergensen, former frontman of rock band Armor for Sleep.
WHY WE LOVE KATRINA BOWDEN
Katrina Bowden is mainly famous for being in a show called 30 Rock, a wonderful programme which features almost zero rocks but does include a) a lot of comedy and b) the incredibly talented and gosh-we-really-quite-fancy-her-don’t-we Tina Fey. Katrina plays Cerie, the assistant to Tina’s character Liz, who’s main character trait is her series of sexy outfits. We’re not about to complain.
Katrina Bowden’s done other stuff too, rather than just popping fully-formed into the auditions for 30 Rock – she appeared as popular girl Britney Jennings in One Life to Live, a long-running US soap opera, which has earned her a ridiculously complex and almost completely impenetrable Wikipedia entry which you can read if you’re feeling masochistic or having problems sleeping. Our eyes glazed over halfway through the third sentence, but you might just do better.
You might remember seeing her as a captive in hill-billy horror/comedy Tucker and Dale vs Evil – but, then again, you might not. It starred that bloke who played the pirate in Dodgeball and not really anyone else of note. We’re assured it’s pretty good, though. Other credits include the fantastically-named Ms Tasty in teen sex-romp Sex Drive and Oz’ girlfriend in the 2012 revisit of the American Pie franchise.
In a surprising turn of events, she was voted Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive 2011 – which is a hell of an achievement – and she celebrated by standing around in her pants and having her picture taken. That’s something everyone can enjoy, right? Right? Yeah.
29
Taylor Momsen — Pretty, Reckless
“Bruises are badass.”
Full name: Taylor Michel Momsen
DOB: July 26, 1993
Place of birth: St. Louis, Missouri, USA
Occupation: Singer, Actress, Model
TAYLOR MOMSEN FACTS
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She applied for the role of Hannah Montana and made it in to the top three, but she was beaten to the role by Miley Cyrus. Still, looks like things worked out okay for her.
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She was the face of New Look’s 2010 Spring Summer collection.
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She says her idols are Robert Plant, John Lennon and Kurt Cobain. Fortunately, she doesn’t look like any of them.
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Fronts rock band The Pretty Reckless. She’s also a) pretty and b) reckless, so you can see what she did there.
14 PHOTOS OF TAYLOR MOMSEN
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WHY WE LOVE TAYLOR MOMSEN
You might remember Taylor Momsen as the cute little Cindy Lou, with the funny nose in How The Grinch Stole Christmas, if you don’t that is probably a good thing. It wasn’t a great film. But now Taylor is all grown up, fronting rock band The Pretty Reckless, and looking damn fine as she does so. In an angsty, grungy, don’t look at me like that or I’ll bite off your fingers kind of way. She swore in an interview in This Morning too, how rock and roll is that?
Taylor Momsen was also in teen mega-drama Gossip Girl as Jenny Humphrey, joining the ranks of fellow stars Blake Lively, Leighton Meester and Buffy alumnus Michelle Trachtenberg. Nice. Being a kickass rock star means that she’s no longer a regular character on the show, but she’s been invited back as a guest star.
Taylor Momsen hails from St. Louis Missouri and ranked in at the 76th most beautiful person in the world from People Magazine, which isn’t at all bad when you consider how many people there are in the world and just how beautiful some of them are. We’re inclined to agree with them.
We’re of the opinion that Taylor Momsen could probably have us in a fight – just look at the rage in those eyes. Before you know it, she’d have a stiletto heel jammed somewhere unpleasant and you’d be rolling around on the floor in pain, wondering why taking her on ever seemed like a good idea or even a possibility. Our advice? Don’t fuck with her. Nuff said.
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Scarlett Johansson — Fulsome fantasy
“It’s very strange to see my cleavage the size of a brontosaurus. My breasts were huge. I had long hair and my goodness, I couldn’t get past the cleavage.”
Full name: Scarlett Johansson
DOB: November 22, 1984
Place of birth: New York City, New York, USA
Occupation: Actress, Singer
Her History in FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women
2011 #32 | 2010 #23 | 2009 #13 | 2008 #6 | 2007 #5 | 2006 #3 | 2005 #68
SCARLETT JOHANSSON FACTS
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Scarlett married Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds in September 2008. Humbug. Then divorced him in December 2010. Hoorah.
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She has a twin. Don’t get too excited – it’s a brother.
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She’s turned down many high profile roles, including Lois Lane in Superman Returns and Evey in V For Vendetta.
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In March 2008, an eBay bidder won a 20 minute date with her, with the proceeds going to Oxfam.
59 PHOTOS OF SCARLETT JOHANSSON
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WHY WE LOVE SCARLETT JOHANSSON
“Seriously, I really want to grab Scarlett Johansson’s breasts. She’s got beautiful ones.” There you have it: evidence that the half-Danish actress now makes even her female co-stars – the famously straight-laced Natalie Portman, in this case – come over all peculiar.
Still, making a name for herself as one of Hollywood’s hottest stars hasn’t stopped Scarlett Johansson dabbling in other arts. May 2008 saw Scarlett release an album of Tom Waits covers. The critics’ reaction? “Not bad.” She went on to release a second album called Break Up in 2009.
Scarlett Johansson first came on the proverbial radar in Hollywood back in 1998 when she starred in The Horse Whisperer at the age of 14, and was more on our radar when she appeared in Lost in Translation in 2003. We weren’t the only once taking notice, as she received her fourth Golden Globe nominations for her role in Match Point.
Other films that boast Scarlett Johansson on the credits include The Island, The Other Boleyn Girl, Vicky Cristina Barcelona and 2009’s He’s Just Not That into You. Then in 2010 she starred in Iron Man 2 and won a Tony Award for her role in the stage production of A View From the Bridge on Broadway. So, not all about the cleavage.
We listed Scarlett Johansson in our top 10 Sexiest Women in the World for three years running from 2006, but she dropped out the year after tying the knot. Mayhaps her continued presence in the Iron Man and Avenger Films as ass-kicking S.H.I.E.L.D agent, Black Widow will see her smash the competition to bits
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